Lame Games

Castle Clout has some potential to be a good game, but I just got sick of it and have to call it a lame game. You get 5 shots on the trebuchet to take down the king and his castle. The further you get into the game you get to fire off bigger stones, bombs [...]

Basketball Shot is one dumb game. The point is to time hit a moving ball in such a way that it is centered in the cross hairs, both up and down. Problem is, that it doesn’t work. The shot always goes to the left no matter what you do. A much better basketball shooting game [...]

“Dear Game Maker: Could you please turn up the lightness and contrast on your monitor to NOT make a game so damn dark.” That pretty much sums up my complaint about USS Racing. Oh, and the controls blow, as the game play in general. If you want to play a very good racing game, check [...]

Armoured Assault has the ability to be a fine game, but unforturnately it fails to meet the grade. It’s a little too simple to play and a bit dark to see the tank that you are in. Here’s a tip – hold down the left mouse key and then fire, ya might have better luck [...]

I was looking forward to playing this game, but I was sadly disappointed. The game is incredilbily dark, can’t see a damn thing. The name does imply a dark screen but this was ridiculous. Not only that but ya get one crash then you have to start all over again. Sigh! Midnight Race
 
 

Providence attempts to be a cool game to play. Unfortunately it comes up short on the playability factor. It takes too much effort to even get through the first level. It claims to be a 3D game, but I didn’t see any evidence of it. Maybe you’ll like it but I really have to pass. [...]

Honest to god I really tried to play Jumpcat and enjoy it but in the final decision is that I really can’t recommend it. It’s not that it’s hard to play, quite the opposite. All you need to do is jump over the rocks and so forth with your mouse and make it through to [...]

Stan Skates a silly easy skateboarding game. There’s not much to it, hit the spacebar and jump over obstacles and collect bonuses. The problem it’s tooooo easy. Lame. Stan Skates

Skijump 2001 is not very well done game. The problem is with the controls and the timing of jumping. It’s too bad. Oh, and if you are offended with the word s(^t, then don’t play Skijump 2001. Skijump 2001

Now I’m not a big fan of fighting games in general, and I try to keep that bias in check. However I didn’t care for the Street Fighter 2 because of the goofy controls. Ya gotta stupidly hammer away at the “a+s” or “r+d” or “s+d”. Just keep hitting those keys and you might enjoy [...]

I usually like tennis flash games, but Tennis Ace is not a keeper. I found it a little silly in the controls of serving and returning the tennis ball. And it was a annoying as hell hearing the dude say ‘Out” constantly. Tennis Game is a far superior flash tennis game.
Tennis Ace

A gatso is a speed camera used by cops in the UK to take pics of speeders. So Shoot the Gatso is a game of shooting the pop up cameras before the camera takes a pic of you. It’s a lame game because of the game play, but more importantly the fact that the authors [...]

Catch a Toy is like those toy grabber crane game that you’ll find at carnivals and such. You line up the “crosshairs” on a toy and press enter to grab the toy. Keep on doing that until you get a toy out of the box. I found Catch a Toy a little tedious to play, [...]

Not a big fan of Where To Go. At 5 to 6 points in the game, you have one of two choices to make. First a bridge, then a scooter, then a car and so forth. The point being to successfully getting to the end by making the correct choice. I found the game play [...]

I was on the fence regarding Rigelian Hot Shots, but finally came down on the side of silly. What you do is guide this fireball thingy down a underground tunnel avoiding walls and traps. I thought the game was too dark, literally, and I just too lazy to futz with my moniter. Oh ya and [...]

Safety Run is a stupid little game. At first I had no freakin’ idea of what it was. However in gutting it out and playing it a little more I got it. You play a cute character that collects cats by carefully crossing bridges with your wheel barrel. Quite franking Safety Run ain’t my cup [...]

I’m usually a big fan of flash pool games. Unfortunately Mini Pool isn’t one of them. Problems are 1) you can only control direction, not the velocity 2) the game goes too fast, you see, you only have seconds to sink all the billiards into the pockets. Why not have a easy/exhibition level to get [...]

Global Rage Lame Game, that’s what I call it, is not very good. The graphics are done by a 6th grader. The fighting moves aren’t very good. And this is a demo, that doesn’t allow you to play the “very easy” level????? or let you use three of the 5 fighters. But hell, if you [...]

I should apologize for posting Little Man. It’s a sadistic voodoo game in which you 1) stick little man with pins, 2) smack ‘em with a sandal, 3) fry him with a hot iron and finally 4) put a swarm of cock roaches on him. Pretty stupid and pretty lame game. Little Man

Mars Stand requires you to bomb the towers of the Mars city to land. It’s pretty simple stupid. Too simple stupid. Mars Stand

Can’t really say that I’m a big fan of Find Differences 2. The point of the game is to find differences between 2 very similar pictures. I found just too damn hard and boring. And here’s a swear word warning: when you miss the phrase “Holy S^!t” comes out. Depending on your point of view [...]

Widdlest Twiddlestix is a pretty lame and boring game to play. It’s probably just me, but I just couldn’t get into the game play. The object is to get a slowly rotating stick through the water maze. I got frustrated in playing the damn thing, hence the lame tag. Widdlest Twiddlestix

Whack a Mummy is a pretty stupid whack a mole type of game. All you do is hit the popup mummies. Now one would expect a time limit to hit X number of mummies or some way of keeping score ya know. But no it’s just a mindless hit-the-damn-mummies-as-long-you-can-stand-it game. Whack A Mummy

I got pretty irritated playing Mario Brothers 3 within the first 30 seconds of the game. There’s a point where you have to jump over a hole that you can’t see, HUH! Play the darn game and I’m sure you’ll agree. Mario Brothers 3

I usually like games like SubCommander, however what really turns me of of this submarine game is the fact that it’s incredibly difficult to play. You use your mouse to navigate past mines, depth charges and underwater obstacles to get to the end of level. I found myself bouncing around aimlessly. However your mileage might [...]

Elastic Soccer is an ill designed game, that I didn’t really like to play. Cons are a lack of interaction with the players and the ball. Wherever the ball is you mouse over the player who “grabs” it and you pull back on the player and shoot the ball. Kind of stupid in my opinion. [...]

Kaboom is a lame game from the early 1980’s. Your job is to move buckets left and right to catch the bombs being tossed down by the convict character. I don’t remember this game in any arcade back in the day and I think I know why. Stupid and corny graphics alert Kaboom

Shooting Rat is what the name implies – Shooting Rats. Not sure what the point is – ie. if you shoot the rats that are parachuting down, it just slows them down, instead of exploding in burst of bloody blob. At least the game I’d like to play. There is a little game play [...]

Hypurrcat is a simple stupid kiddie game for 4 years old and younger (or someone whose mental age is 4 years old or younger). All you do is go forward or backward and shoot the dogs and rats with the space bar. Yawn. Hypurrcat

Drift Battle is an attempt to capture the excitement of the Fast and Furious drifting series of Hollywood movies. It fails miserably. There are limited controls of the car. For example you can’t speed up. It’s too damn dark. The cars disappear sometimes. And finally it’s boooorring. Drift Battle

Not sure of the point of My Head as game play goes. You play the barber and you have to keep cutting the hair of 4 patrons until their heads are bald. If the customers hair gets too long they leave the shop and you lose. Yawn. My Head

I, for the life of me, could not figure out Bomberman. Not that I really care. You’re more than welcome to give it a shot. Bomberman

Okay, who doesn’t know how to play Tic Tac Toe? Pretty damn game, at least this version is any way. It’s interesting for 37 seconds and you can move on to a game that’s more interesting to play. Tic Tac Toe

I can’t really recommend much about Javelin Throw. It’s a little on the kiddie stupid side. About the only somewhat funny thing about it is hitting a bird in flight with the javelin. Javelin Throw

I originally thought 5 miles 2 go was the lamest game I’ve ever played. Darts resoundingly takes that spot. Darts is played by throwing 3 darts by each player, usually giving you the player control over aim, speed and direction. Darts the Lame Game does none of this. You just throw (left click) darts, no [...]

Ploop Adventures is a Pac-Man type of game in which you move your ploop? around the maze to gather up stuff and avoid dangers to move to the next level. Never a big fan of Pac Man, so Gamezdude not crazy about Ploop Adventures, let alone the dumb arse name. Ploop Adventures

Your job in Saving Kypck is to pilot a rescue sub to another sub marooned on the bottom of the sea. The only thing is the sub doesn’t rescue anyone. You do get float and navigate around for a minute, if you call that entertainment, knock yourself out. Saving Kypck

On how many levels is Road Rage a stupid lame game. One: horrible graphics. Two: You play a bible thumper killing folks with a truck, then with a shotgun – Go one way or the other, please. Three: It’s too simple stupid. Now I realize that the guys who made this are a part of [...]

In Purple Pit you have to move platforms which the Huggabaloos??? are “dancing” on, in such a way that the platforms are all raised. Okay. Now it could be a decent memory/strategy game without the lame 1968 Keith Mansfield song playing in the background. In addition to the rather extremely dated dancer looks and general [...]

Now with a name like Goo Slashers, one would expect to find a better game than this. For whatever reason, you play a knight in ye old days, using your sword to swat alien green goo monsters. Aliens in 1400 AD??? On the bright side the game play is acceptable. Goo Slasher

Aga Maze hails from the Asian Rim, since the instructions are in non English characters. The game play is alright. You click on maze pieces to line them up so Aga?? can make her way home. Aga Maze gets a lame rating for the stupid sound that the Aga?? character makes. So there. Aga [...]

Air Hockey is a throw back to the 80’s??, since it mimics the classic Pong game. As a result it goes into the lame section. The graphics are ho-hum also. Other than the fast paced play, there’s not much to recommend. Air Hockey

This has to be the worst car driving game ever. All you do is move the damn car up and down the screen to draft the car ahead. No skill whatsoever needed. Yawn. So if you need to totally waste 5 minutes of your time, give this piece o’ crap a play. The only bright [...]

I really have to call this a lame game unfortunately. The reason being there are better move a piece to get 3 or more same color pieces(smileys) in a row and score points type of strategy games. You can’t move smileys across, only up and down. 12 swap

Jurassic Pinball is a bit of a ripoff. One, the flippers are slow to react. Two, the ball falls off the side when it shouldn’t. But if you must play it, knock your self out. Jurassic Pinball